The importance of self-nurture for anxiety, stress, and depletion
A never-ending hustle + crash cycle
Job(s), life, relationships, family, emails, calls, texts, meetings, daily errands, and other unexpected life events that occupy the majority of our waking hours can not only feel extremely overwhelming on a day-to-day basis, but also make us feel like we are flying by the seats of our pants 99.5% of the time with no control whatsoever on the reins of our chariot.
We hustle to get these things done, every day, 7 days a week, only to crash into burnout, depletion, stress, and anxiety. Or perhaps our body pulls the emergency brakes to force us to stop (since we aren’t voluntarily stopping and resting) by throwing out our back, giving us the flu, flaring up pain, and aggravating other physical or mental symptoms of an imbalanced lifestyle. We might rest, or be forced to rest, for a day or two, then we’d get up and try to make up for lost time, which would start the entire cycle of hustle + crash all over again.
With the demands of our modern world, we have lost any sort of self-agency over our own body and life. We are allowing others to steer our chariot rather than us taking the reins.
It is no wonder many of us live in a perpetual weight of anxiety and depletion, barely surviving rather than thriving.
This is why I focus my work on establishing self-nurture rituals with my clients. In the paragraphs below, I’m sharing more about what self-nurture is, and how you can get started on your own self-nurture journey to reclaim a life with more ease and vitality.
Self-nurture vs self-care
So what do I exactly mean by that? Is it just another “trendy” term like self-care?
Self-nurture is inherently more inwardly-oriented, nurturing the soul from the inside out. Self-nurture is a way of nourishing yourself through lifestyle, food, rest, inner speak (how you talk to and perceive yourself), compassion, movement, reflection, and daily rituals and routines.
Whereas, especially in recent years, self-care feels more outwardly-oriented and glamorous. Over the years, the term “self-care” has become overly glamorous and commodified. It gives to images of luxury — spas, expensive skincare routines, superfoods, supplements, saunas, cold plunges, essential oils, luxury vacations, etc.
Not only can these products and services be expensive, they can also be inaccessible and time-consuming for many.
I do not discredit these products and services as part of your regular self-nurture routine either. In fact, they can be wonderful components of your sacred rituals of self-nurture. But I also do want to point out the often overlooked and understated rituals of self-care, like just having a minute to yourself with your morning coffee or tea as you watch the morning light trickle in through your window.
“Self-nurture is a way of nourishing yourself through lifestyle, food, rest, inner speak (how you talk to and perceive yourself), compassion, movement, reflection, and daily rituals and routines.”
Hence the term self-nurture. It denotes a form of self-care that is more internally nourishing, as opposed to outwardly glamorous. I’m talking about simple moments to yourself, for yourself, by yourself. This can look like a few minutes of contemplation and meditation, journaling, watching the sunset, taking a slow stroll in nature.
Self-nurture is what truly fills your cup, and oftentimes, they are ordinary and unglamorous. Self-nurture isn’t complicated; in fact, it is simple. It is the simple things in life that make you pause and smile just a little bit. It is that moment after you’ve nurtured yourself when you feel a sense of contentment and ease.
Establishing self-nurture “anchors”
Self-nurture practices are something you do daily, regardless of what happens in your day and schedule. Do you forego brushing your teeth just because you’re day is jammed with back-to-back meetings? Probably not. Similarly, the concept of self-nurture “anchors” is that you do these practices as sacred rituals, committing to them even when the going gets tough.
While this might seem strict and difficult at first, you will eventually find that having these structures and routines in place actually help simplify your life. These self-nurture anchors serve as little sacred moments of time in your day that you get to claim for yourself — not to your spouse or kids, not to your boss, not to social media or YouTube, not to your pets, not to anyone but yourself.
The key to setting up your self-nurture anchors successfully is to choose just one thing that is stupidly simple. Why? Because if it’s so stupidly simple, you’re more likely to do it than not.
Here are some ideas.
Stupidly simple self-nurture anchor ideas
Taking 10 deep breaths upon waking
Take 2-minutes for a few simple stretches in bed upon waking
Take an extra minute in the shower to let the hot water run down the tired areas of your body (bonus: add essential oils)
Drink your morning cup of tea or coffee in silence, without phone, TV, or news
Step outside first thing in the morning and take in the morning sunshine for 1 minute
Step away from your desk and take your lunch outside or somewhere quiet — eat without distraction
In between work tasks or agenda on your calendar, take 30 sec to 1 minute for a simple stretch, some movements, or a few mindful breaths
Listen to a 5-minute guided meditation or relaxation recording before bed
Do gentle, relaxing stretches at night before bed
These are just a few off the top of my head that take less than a few minutes. Feel free to come up with some of your own that resonate with you.
“Overtime, your anchor will become a cornerstone of your day. You will actually start to look forward to it, because it gives you a moment of peace with yourself, for yourself. It will help shape the rest of your day so that you have more capacity to handle the difficult things; you’ll find that you don’t feel like you’re constantly blown over by the winds of the world’s demands of you, but that you have a little bit more resilience to ground into.”
Once you’ve narrowed down to just one anchor, commit to doing it daily. Put it in your calendar, set a reminder on your phone or watch, find a buddy to commit to this together — whatever you need to do so that you are less likely to miss a day. And, if you do (which will happen), it’s okay! Not all is lost! Simply reset yourself, and re-commit. Take it one day at a time.
As the term implies, “anchors” are exactly that. Overtime, your anchor will become a cornerstone of your day. You will actually start to look forward to it, because it gives you a moment of peace with yourself, for yourself. It will help shape the rest of your day so that you have more capacity to handle the difficult things; you’ll find that you don’t feel like you’re constantly blown over by the winds of the world’s demands of you, but that you have a little bit more resilience to ground into. Your anchor is your moment that nobody else can take from you, and you must guard and protect it.
Sacred Nurture Women’s Healing Circle
I’m opening up enrollment to my signature small-group program, Sacred Nurture Circle, again in October 2023. It is a 4-month journey designed to help you achieve self-agency over your own wellbeing, so that you can step more fully into your life with more vitality and ease.
This is an excellent program for you if:
You’ve been feeling lost and uncertain on how to take the reins back for your life and wellbeing, but you’re done with being bulldozed by the world
All you have known in your life is hustle, hustle, and hustle more, and you’ve put your own body and wellbeing to the side, but now are feeling the effects (anxiety, dissatisfaction, feelings of never enough, depletion, burnout, chronic health symptoms) of neglecting yourself
You need a structured program to learn and dive deeper to health and wellbeing as it pertains to women’s health, so that you can implement strategies that are suitable for you
You are looking for “done-for-you” practices that come with daily suggestions of yoga, breathing, or mindfulness techniques so that you always know what you can do that day to help manage your anxiety and stress
You would like a small, intimate community of women you can lean into for support, and be able to also be the rock that others can lean on
You can join the waitlist here to get first dibs and more info when registration opens
Whether you choose to DIY and set up your own self-nurture rituals, or get personalized support along the way with the Sacred Nurture Circle, I hope you start to gain the healing benefits of incorporating anchors into your daily life.
Remember, keep it stupidly simple.